許多小夥伴出國後會感到不適應， 遭遇該國的“文化衝擊”。
可是……你聽說過“逆文化衝擊”嗎？
那也挺囧的……
所謂的“逆文化衝擊” (reverse culture shock)， 就是指一個人在國外呆的時間太長， 漸漸適應了該國的文化和生活方式， 結果回到自己國家後反而對本國的生活不適應了。
最近， 一枚美國漢子就給我們投稿， 講述了他碰到的“逆文化衝擊”的囧事。
漢子在中國生活多年， 娶了中國太太， 對中國的一切都挺熟悉的了。
結果， 前幾個月他一回國， 事兒就來了……
Christopher Cottrell, US
Last month, I happened upon a video by a so-called comedy troupe based in Shanghai named Mamahuhu. Intrigued, I clicked on the link, hopeful to see some professional expat comedians. While Mamahuhu does produce mildly amusing content, this one - about reverse culture shock - not only fell flat, it ticked me off.
上個月， 我偶然看到了上海一個名叫“馬馬虎虎”的劇團演的一個喜劇。 出於好奇， 我戳開了那個視頻， 畢竟說不定還能看到專業的老外喜劇演員嘛~ 結果呢……好吧……馬馬虎虎演的喜劇確實還馬馬虎虎， 笑點也是有的， 但是這個關於“逆文化衝擊”的劇簡直是一塌糊塗。 而且！我！怒！了！
It would be too easy to nail it as racist for suggesting that the foreigners portrayed in the video left China with nothing but uncouth behavior learned from the locals. The problem is, it also suggests that they became idiotic and incubated.
要說這部劇有點種族主義色彩， 那我還真沒冤枉了它。
The short video is set primarily on a therapist's couch, where a newly returned foreigner shares his aggrieved experiences of his old life in China: from drinking in public to restaurant ordering etiquette to squatting to shouting for "the friend price."
這個視頻的場景呢， 是在一個治療師的沙發上。 一個剛從中國回去的老外吐槽著他在中國那不堪回首的經歷：公共場合喝酒、吃飯點菜禮(tao)儀(lu)、亞洲蹲、喊著要“友情價”……
Reverse culture shock is very real; they just could have done a much better job of portraying it. For example, after dining on Guangzhou-style cooked pigeon here in China, I've never looked at these rats with wings the same. While visiting home recently, I noticed how plump and succulent all the pigeons at Disneyland looked; it got my mouth watering.
好吧， 逆文化衝擊的確存在， 但他們就不能稍微展現得好一點兒？比方說哈， 自從吃過了廣式乳鴿之後， 我就再也無法直視這些仿佛長著翅膀的小老鼠一樣的生物了——這不是普通的禽類， 這是人間美味啊！得了， 最近回了趟家， 去了趟迪士尼， 看著樂園裡那些肥肥嫩嫩的鴿子， 我不由我想起了它們在餐桌上鮮嫩多汁的模樣……啊！口水真是嘩嘩兒地 (¯﹃¯)
Speaking of plump, during that same trip I was aghast at the collective waistline of the American people. They were constantly shoving cotton candy, foot-long churros, corn dogs and giant sodas down their gullets.
啊對了， 說到“肥”， 我回國時真是被美國人民那膀大腰圓的架勢給雷到了。 誰叫他們專吃熱量高的東西， 什麼棉花糖、油炸面圈、玉米熱狗、碳酸飲料……胃裡塞得滿滿的， 咎由自取嗎不是。
After years of living among a lither population (and where many rural grandparents regularly regurgitate food into the mouths of their Little Emperors) nothing sickened me more than the ever-rising obesity of my own countrymen
我和小朋友們相處的時間挺久的了， 這些“小皇帝”們被爺爺奶奶捧在手心裡， 從小都是各種好吃好喝的伺候， 拼命往你嘴裡塞。 而這次回國， 看到自己國家的人越來越圓潤， 肥胖者越來越多， 一股迷之噁心感真是油然而生……
Also at Disneyland, I couldn't help but wonder why nobody was holding their child over the bushes to let it all out; they could save so much time instead of standing in line at the toilet. While buying a soda, I asked the server to make sure it had ice. She looked at me like a freak and retorted icily, "Who would serve a warm Coke?"
在美國的迪士尼， 看不到家長偷偷帶著尿急的小孩子去草坪樹叢之類的地方“解決”， 我也覺得有點兒不適應了：為啥不這樣幹呢？這比去洗手間排長隊要節省很多時間呢！在買汽水的時候也是，
This sense of feeling like a fish out of water in my native land continues to exacerbate, and even abates, depending on context, over the decades.
是啊……這這幾十年裡， 在自己國家不但沒有如魚得水的自由， 反而有如脫水之魚般局促而拘束。 有時候， 這種局促和拘束甚至還在進一步惡化。
In Las Vegas earlier this year, I thought all would be fine when I withdrew 100 bucks from the ATM to buy myself a 2 Live Crew concert ticket, forgetting that my account is linked directly to my Chinese wife's mobile. Not a minute later, she suddenly rang asking where I was and what I was doing with that money.
前幾個月在拉斯維加斯， 我去取款機取了100美元現金放身上， 打算去買兩張2 Live Crew的演唱會門票。 然而我忘了……我的銀行帳號是和我中國太太的手機相綁定的！於是很快咯， 她打電話來問我在哪， 拿這些錢要幹啥去啊？
She was livid and, no, she did not give me permission to watch Luke Skywalker and his posse perform. Which is a shame, because attending a concert of foul-mouthed, horny rappers is indeed one of the true joys of reverse culture shock. Don't get me wrong, I had fun watching Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber sing their family-friendly anthems in Shanghai, but it's refreshing to listen to something a lot, how shall we say, harder.
然後她超生氣的！因為她不允許我去看這種“低俗”的演出啊！這真的很囧了， 因為去看這種滿嘴髒話的“低俗”嘻哈還真就是逆文化衝擊裡的一大樂事呢。 別誤會我， 我也在上海看過黴黴和賈斯丁的演唱會，
I get that 2 Live Crew will never be booked in Beijing. That's fine by me, as I did not move to China to wallow in Western ways. Nor to whine and complain constantly about a language I didn't bother to learn.
在北京， 我肯定看不到類似於2 Live Crew這類的“低俗”演出。 這我倒無所謂啦， 我並沒有在中國了還對西方的那些生活方式念念不忘。 我也不介意學中文， 這沒什麼好抱怨的。
We all know that, since the global financial crisis in 2008, an entire wave of economic refugees have poured into China. Many are millennials with few job prospects in their own home countries, so they have pervaded China's educational sector as faux-teachers by day, and at night hop on to YouTube to mouth off about what they don't like about China.
我們都心知肚明， 自08年全球金融危機後， 大批“經濟難民”就湧入了中國：許多人還是20來歲的小年輕， 在自己國家沒啥工作今年， 急衝衝地來到中國， 白天做著最沒有門檻的“外教”（教不教得好是另一回事）， 晚上就去網上瞎bb的抱怨自己怎麼怎麼不喜歡中國， 自以為很幽默。
It is getting tiresome, but also well-deserving of some ridicule. I hope someone with some proper comedic training makes a short, funny video about it, because I have yet to watch one.
這些抱怨和吐槽其實挺無趣的， 但也的確有過一些好玩的笑點。我倒挺希望能有某個喜劇方面的專業人士，能把這些吐槽製作成一個好玩的視頻，供大家茶餘飯後一笑。畢竟迄今為止，我還沒有看到過這種有點水準的視頻呢。
原文：Christopher Cottrell
翻譯：lanlan
圖：Chen Xia、網路
但也的確有過一些好玩的笑點。我倒挺希望能有某個喜劇方面的專業人士，能把這些吐槽製作成一個好玩的視頻，供大家茶餘飯後一笑。畢竟迄今為止，我還沒有看到過這種有點水準的視頻呢。原文：Christopher Cottrell
翻譯：lanlan
圖：Chen Xia、網路