到學期期末， 老師們的工作生活一定又是被各種評比、課題結項、年終彙報、報銷擠得滿滿當當。 不如一起看看老師朋友圈裡的段子吧~
➤工作篇
What do teachers do every day?
老師們每天在做啥？
For some teachers, work is like taking their students for a swim in a great big ocean of knowledge every day.
老師這個職業吧， 說的文明點就是每天帶著學生在知識的海洋裡暢遊。
And though they do their best to make sure everybody reaches the shore, they often have to go back and provide assistance.
然而暢遊一段時間吧， 你會發現：只有你一個人上岸了！然後你還得返回， 一個一個去撈。
Some students who have just been rescued almost immediately start drowning again, while others astonish their teachers by turning around and swimming out to sea instead!
有些吧， 昨天撈上來今天又掉下去了還得撈。 在你喘息的時候，
不多說了， 上圖體會：
Books a college teacher should read:
很多人打算去大學當老師， 問要看哪些書？以下是較專業的回答：
❶
第一階段
基礎版
《教育學》
Pedagogy
《心理學》
Psychology
《給老師的建議》
Advice for Teachers
《教學設計》
Instructional Design
❷
第二階段
進階版
《莫生氣》
Keep Calm
《佛經》
Buddhism
《老子》
Lao Tzu
《思想政治》
Ideology and Politics
《論持久戰》
On Protracted War
❸
第三階段
瀕死版
《頸椎病康復指南》
Rehabilitation of Cervical Spondylosis
《慢性咽喉炎和扁桃體炎患者必讀》
A Must-read for Chronic Laryngitis and Tonsillitis Sufferers
《心臟病的預防與防治》
On the Prevention and Treatment of Heart Disease
《高血壓降壓寶典》
How to Control High Blood Pressure
《強迫症的自我恢復》
A Self-help Guide for Obsessive-compulsives
《精神病症狀學》
Psychiatric-symptom Diagnosis
❹
第四階段
無我版
《活著》
Alive
➤ 生活篇
Reporter: How have you changed since becoming a teacher?
記者：“老師， 請問您入職這麼多來年， 都有哪些變化呢？”
You: Umm... (before and after ☟)
老師：這個嘛……（前後對比照）
Types of headache experienced by college counselors.
各種頭痛類型，望知悉。
Are university teachers struggling with baldness?
大學老師脫髮很嚴重嗎？
➤ 家庭篇
Your girlfriend (a university counselor) is sleeping.
當輔導員的女朋友在家睡懶覺。
You: Wake up!
Her: *silence*
我說起床啦，她一動不動。
You: It's time for lunch!
Her: *more silence*
喊她吃飯啦，依舊石沉大海。
You: Those new clothes you ordered are here!
Her: *no response*
“你買的新衣服到嘍！”她好像沒聽見一樣。
You: Something's wrong with one of your students!
Her: *jumps up* I'm going into school right now!
“學生出事了！”
她立刻從床上彈射起來“我要回學校了！”
The most moving marriage notice of the year.
年度最感人徵婚啟示！
說了這麼多，由衷希望每一位老師在新的學期裡開心快樂、工作順利、桃李滿園！
Types of headache experienced by college counselors.
各種頭痛類型，望知悉。
Are university teachers struggling with baldness?
大學老師脫髮很嚴重嗎？
➤ 家庭篇
Your girlfriend (a university counselor) is sleeping.
當輔導員的女朋友在家睡懶覺。
You: Wake up!
Her: *silence*
我說起床啦，她一動不動。
You: It's time for lunch!
Her: *more silence*
喊她吃飯啦，依舊石沉大海。
You: Those new clothes you ordered are here!
Her: *no response*
“你買的新衣服到嘍！”她好像沒聽見一樣。
You: Something's wrong with one of your students!
Her: *jumps up* I'm going into school right now!
“學生出事了！”
她立刻從床上彈射起來“我要回學校了！”
The most moving marriage notice of the year.
年度最感人徵婚啟示！
說了這麼多，由衷希望每一位老師在新的學期裡開心快樂、工作順利、桃李滿園！